There is a bigger picture.

Lately, I've been wrestling with my sinful nature. More specifically, I've been wrestling with the demonic forces that want me to believe that, instead of revolving around the sun, the world revolves around me. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't consider myself a very selfish or narcissistic person. I rather enjoy serving and putting others first. However, my views of God, I've noticed, tend to be heavily skewed towards me as the center.

For instance, in the matters of my life, my prayers are about what God can and will do for ME. I seek God's will for MY life. I want God to speak to ME about ME. I've seemingly lost site of a world around me and the fact that I am but a tool in His hands. In the greater narrative of God's story, I am only but an extra. However, it seems like I demand the star dressing room from God. Even our worship tends to focus on ourselves and what God will do for us or what we will do for God. Here is a great excerpt from an open letter to songwriters by Brian McLaren:

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"Let me make this specific: Too many of our lyrics are embarrassingly personalistic, about Jesus and me. Personal intimacy with God is such a wonderful step above a cold, abstract, wooden recitation of dogma. But it isn’t the whole story. In fact—this might shock you—it isn’t, in the emerging new postmodern world, necessarily the main point of the story. A popular worship song I’ve heard in many venues in the last few years (and which we sing at Cedar Ridge, where I pastor) says that worship is “all about You, Jesus,” but apart from that line, it really feels like worship, and Christianity in general, has become “all about me, me, me.”

If you doubt what I’m saying, listen next time you’re singing in worship. It’s about how Jesus forgives me, embraces me, makes me feel his presence, strengthens me, forgives me, holds me close, touches me, revives me, etc., etc. Now this is all fine. But if an extraterrestrial outsider from Mars were to observe us, I think he would say either a) that these people are all mildly dysfunctional and need a lot of hug therapy (which is ironic, because they are among the most affluent in the world, having been blessed in every way more than any group in history), or b) that they don’t give a rip about the rest of the world, that their religion/spirituality makes them as selfish as any nonChristian, but just in spiritual things rather than material ones."

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Could it be that many of the "circumstances" that happen in our lives, happen not because God wants something for us, but that he wants to use us to minister and bless others? I know that I have been challenged by God to take a look at the "events" of my life in a new way. I want to see how He is preparing and using me in the broader scope of His plan, and not just how He wants to bless me. I want to change my faith from being self-centered to being others-centered.