Open Doors

Sunday night. Today was such a great feeling, after my Longhorns pulled out that great win over Ohio State yesterday. It is great to finally see such good press about our football team, after years of being told we couldn't win the big game and that when push came to shove, the Horns were always getting shoved. Anyway, good game. If anyone wants to see it, I Tivo'ed it. So, I'll prolly watch the highlights again soon.

Today at church was OK, I guess. Dina and I are still longing to find a community of people that share in similar faith practice as ours. We feel so weak and unfulfilled where we are. Not that church should be about being fed, but how do you fellowship with so many people that just don't view church in the same way? It feels like a lot of our members just view church as another blip on their weekly schedule and Dina and I feel like it should be so much more. Encompassing our daily lives. Well, we keep praying and enduring.

On the job front, I am going to substitute teach at Brentwood Christian School tomorrow. I spent 5 years of my education at that school. It sure has changed since then, however. It will be interesting, though. I might even run into some of the teachers that were there when I was a student. I also passed the Dell Sales Assessment test this past Friday, so I might even find myself working on the grinding floor in Dell sales. But, at this point, we're about ready to walk through any door that God opens up. I also have a phone interview this week with Chicago Metro Youth For Christ. I think that one is on Wednesday. If they like me from the phone interview, I might end up flying up there to interview in person for the Campus Life Director job.

Ministry? High Tech? Education? Who knows? I'm just putting all my irons in the fire and waiting for God to tell me which one to pull out.

Oh yeah, my first Hebrew class was fun this last week. We have a quiz this week and I'm memorizing the Hebrew alphabet. I've got it memorized, now I"m just working on being able to identify the written letters with the name of the letter.

Well, that's all for now. Gotta go get the kids to bed.

Mirages

Well, I'm sitting here listening to the "Return of the King" soundtrack that I got for my birthday. Yes, today was my birthday. 36 years of treading the dust of this Earth now. I have to say, due to circumstances of life right now, this has been one of my lowest birthdays ever.

I quit getting excited about my birthday several years back, but this year, I just didn't even want to acknowledge it. I think I just feel a lot of worry and pressure about our job situation. I'm just having some real difficulties making my business work and have had some real strong thoughts about scrapping it altogether. I really feel like I have heard God call me back to Youth Ministry, but all the doors have closed so far. Every secular job I have tried to go after have closed as well. It is just getting very hard to get out of bed each day, only to face more and more rejection. I am finding myself at a point of seeking God and not hearing from Him. It is so hard to walk through the desert and not know where any help may come. It feels lonely and dry.

I start my Hebrew class tomorrow, though. And tomorrow is Caleb's birthday, so that will be fun. I'm just praying that God will reveal Himself to me soon, as I feel stretched and tired.