Day 3

In the quest for a deeper knowledge of the mystery of God, this quote has been helpful to me:

"Many people flock to places and persons who promise intensive experiences of togetherness, cathartic emotions of exhilaration and sweetness, and liberating sensations of rapture and ecstasy. In our desperate need for fulfillment and our restless search for the experience of divine intimacy, we are all too prone to construct our own spiritual events. In our impatient culture, it has indeed become extremely difficult to see much salvation in waiting." - Reaching Out, by Henri Nouwen

I'll confess that I've been a little disappointed so far. Three days into my quest for Christian Mysticism and contemplation, and I'd hoped to have had some "mystical experiences" with God already. Heh. Life continues and my heart is still fancied by the distractions of the world around me. Sure, there have been moments of sweetness so far. But, the mundane has seemed to occupy much more of my time than I had hoped. It is so difficult to find quiet moments to indulge in the goodness of God. And if there is a quiet moment, it never seems long enough to truly dive in deep.

Scattered thoughts and experiences have defined my quest so far. I know that there are many depths and "unknowings" to be experienced yet. However, Nouwen's quote gives me hope that although the road my seem bleak, the waiting produces something in me that longs for more of God. Instead of formulating some fragmented and formulaic spiritual experience, I am finding Him more in the threads of my day. From short prayers uttered in the hallways at school to dedicated meditation during my fasting, I have become at one with His spirit.

I partook of His body and blood this morning to break my fast. It was a sweet moment in the hours around dawn before the house got noisy. I was taken by listening to John Michael Talbot's singing of The Magnificat in "Holy Is His Name". It was a sweet moment of exaltation of God and contemplating the mystery of His choosing a broken and weak humanity to display His greatest work.

We had a great meeting tonight for the Austin Emergent Cohort. Lots of good dialogue and sharing. We had 3 new members show up and share their background and story. It was great to feel connected to other believers from differing traditions as we all weave together in the great narrative of God's kingdom.